Look, while we are on the topic of “down there” I feel like it’s time for me to learn you about what actually IS down there, how it was made and how it works. Again, I will say PENIS VAGINA VULVA SPERM TESTICLES and a bunch of other funny words. Try not to squirm. Real talk, when we learned about this kind of stuff in high school my teacher (who I know reads this blog, hi Mrs W!) was like “Okay guys, we’re all gonna say the word penis then laugh, then we will say it again and not laugh, cos we just need to get over it.” I was the only person who laughed the second time. So immature. Without getting too political about it, lack of knowledge and open frank discussion about your bits can result in a bunch of issues, unwanted pregnancy, STDs, illnesses, not to mention issues around consent and sex. So it’s super important to talk about. Second wee caveat, I have somewhat of an issue referring to these systems as the reproductive organs cos they’re not only for reproduction, they’re also for waste disposal (pee) and pleasure dare I say. I’ll call them the male and female sex organs instead. So let’s dive right in and get learned about male and female sex organs!
Ladies first, because (SUPER EXCITING FACT) did you know that in the womb during development, ALL BABIES START OFF WITH FEMALE BITS!? Yeah, and as development goes on, if the baby is meant to be genetically male (aka has one X and one Y chromosome), the sex organs morph into the male ones! I’ll go into more detail about this when we talk about male sex organs, but this is basically the reason why men have nipples even though they serve no evolutionary function.
Right, back on track, lady bits. Here are Tara’s bad drawings of them female sex organs.
This first drawing is of all the inside bits. The ovaries, where the eggs are held and released! The fallopian tubes, that the egg travels down! If an egg accidentally gets fertilised in the fallopian tube and implants there, this is called an ectopic pregnancy. They usually result in spontaneous miscarriage 😦 The uterus is where the egg is aiming to get fertilised. In preparation for “maybe baby?” time, the uterus gets a lovely bloody rich lining to cushion the egg. No fertilisation? No problem, shed the lining and start making a new one! Shed lining = period. Moving on down from the uterus is the cervix, which is the lower part of the uterus. It creates the false end of the vagina, which is below it. The vagina is where stuff goes in (including but not limited to penises, fingers and tampons) and babies come out. Good one 🙂
More graphic! Ladies have inside bits and outside bits! Let’s look at the outside bits.
We found the entrance to the vagina! Above the entrance to the vagina is the urethra where pee comes out. Below the entrance to the vagina is the anus where poo comes out. They’re pretty close together in ladies, and sometimes infectious bacteria that come out in your poo (which is normal) can get into the urethra and cause a urinary tract infection, which can hurt lots and you need antibiotics to fix it. There’s also the labia which are the lips which encase all the bits.
Guys! Guess what! I found the magical clitoris. Its at the top of the labia, kinda where the left and right ones meet. Sometimes they can be covered by a hood of skin. Fear not, pull the skin back to find the magical clitoris. But wait, there’s more! Not only is the magical clitoris (the pleasure organ) on the outside, it’s much like an iceberg! The majority of it is underwater aka inside the body. Which is why putting things inside the vagina can feel pleasurable too, because the nerves all around the inside bits of the clitoris get stimulated through the vaginal walls. The more you know! Lots of people get confused and us the incorrect term for what this is. Outside sexy bits of the lady = vulva, the vagina refers to the canal that stuff goes in and out of.
Yay lady bits! Moving on, here’s a drawing of the male sex organs!
Much harder to anthropomorphise. Haha. Harder. I included the kidneys in this drawing because from the kidneys come the ureters, which connect to the bladder. From the bladder down the penis is the urethra where pee comes out. But wait! The seminal vesicles get involved here! Semen hitches a ride down the uretha during ejaculation, same tube! Sperm is made in the testicles, sent up through the vas deferens and mixed with some other lovely stuff to make ejaculate, aka semen, in the seminal vesicles. When a man gets a vasectomy (for if he doesn’t want to get a woman preggo) they cut the vas deferens. Spermies got nowhere to go, no preggo. And you may think “…so…. the dude just ejaculates puffs of air then?” Not so my friend. Sperm make up only 5% of the ejaculate. You’ve still got 95% of the fluid in the seminal vesicles to ejaculate.
Now the cool part. Here is an awesome video depicting how the male and female bits are formed in the womb, from the same starting point.
You’ll see that the following happens.
- What ends up being the clitoris in the female makes up the penis in the male (specifically the head of the penis)
- What ends up being the labia majora (outer labia) in the female makes up the scrotum in the male. (Real talk right now I forgot the word “scrotum” so googled “anatomical name for ballsack” hahahhahaha)
- What ends up being the labia minora in the female makes up the shaft of the penis in the male.
- What ends up being the ovaries in the female ends up being the testicles in the male.
- What ends up being the fallopian tubes in the female, makes the vas deferens in the male.
Super cool huh!? Now here’s a question. What’s a prostate, and do women have them?
Short answer, no, women don’t have a prostate. The prostate in a male is the gland that secretes about 30% of the fluid that makes up semen. It’s an alkaline fluid, which helps neutralise some of the acidity of the vagina. (Yes, vaginas have an acidic pH.) The prostate sits behind the bladder, and is a sensitive gland. Some men can experience pleasure from stimulation of this gland, which is reached through the anal passages. I don’t think I need to spell this out for you.
Hopefully by this point you’re not cowering in the corner wishing you’d never clicked on that weird link. But if you are, grow a pair of ovaries! This is the shit you gotta know! I’ll probably talk about something equally as controversial next time, just cos I like to. Thanks for reading team. GET LEARNED!